Hmmm...not so bad

I just finished taking my first Developmental Psychology exam. It defintely wasn't as bad as I thought. There were about 36 multiple choice questions, 2 out of four short answers and 1 out of 3 essays. I'm sure I got some things wrong, and I'm pretty sure I won't get full credit on the essay, but I did a LOT better than I thought I would. So, that's that.

My last class is at 1:45, so I have time to relax before that. I am going home after school today. Dena, Debra and I are taking a train to Dena's sister's house, which is where her car is. I am excited to go home. Especially because my mother probably has presents for me from Israel! Nah, I'm not that materialistic. I miss my family.

I hope that you all have a happy and healthy new year. Remember that your davening on Rosh Hashana represents all your davening of the past year. Make it good and it will all be good. Can you dig it?

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

One Step Closer

So I went to the academic advisor offices and asked the nice advisor if I have to make an appoinment for a "Junior Check". She told me that I do and she told me who to go to to make an appointment. My appointment is for Tuesday the 11th at 3:30. I am SO excited. Really, I am. Okay, fine. You got me. I'm not.

Well, in a way, I am excited to know what I still need to do. It's better than me being annoyed about it. At least I should know exactly what I am being annoyed about! HAHA!

There isn't much to report right now. The following conversation happened between me and Devora online at her office last night. Keep in mind that we were about 10 feet away from each other and could hear each other's reactions:

Her: hey there sexy mama

Me: and who might this be?

Her: i'm some random chick

Me: ohhh a chick

Me: score

Her: man i love you

Me: but we just met

Me: hey im good with that

Me: so whats your sign?

Me: mines deer xing

Her: Curves ahead

Me: LOL

We were laughing way too hard during this conversation. It was really funny. After I left her office, we took a cab back to her apartment and I went through the suitcase I left there in June. I took all the stuff in a smaller bag and left the suitcase there. I got the 11:30 shuttle back. I forgot to study for a Hebrew word quiz that we had today. Oops. I guessed most of it. It was multiple choice. Whatever. I think I did okay.

ANYWAY, that's all for now. I don't have any definite plans for tonight. I might study for my psych exam tomorrow. I am going home after school. YAY! But not to worry, I will be back for the TWO DAYS of school that they are giving us between Yom Kippur and Sukkos. Ha!

Yet Another Day

I'm sitting in Devora's office now. I'm going back to her apartment with her to get my suitcase that I left there before I went to Israel. I hope to find some fun stuff in there!

I actually ordered a textbook today. My first one of the semester! Yay! Hold your applause...please. (Don't worry. I have books for other classes, but I didn't have to order them online.

I have to go to an advisor tomorrow. I'm having my Wednesday lunch in the park, then I am REALLY GOING TO GO TO AN ADVISOR! Maybe I'll be better off once I know that I really will have to stay in school for an extra semester. The truth is, other than it costing my parents another load of money, it shouldn't be that bad. Maybe I can help them pay for it. Does anyone know how much kidneys are going for nowadays? I should check that out.

Alright. Night Night.

From the journal of David Saltzman

The best we can do is live life, enjoy it, and know it is meant to be enjoyed- know how important and special every time...moment...person is. And at the end of the day say, 'I have enjoyed it, I have really lived the moment.' That is all. All is that. Is. Is is such a powerful word. It's not was or will be. It is IS: Is is alive.
-From the journal of David Saltzman (1977-1990) Author of The Jester Has Lost His Jingle

This is what I wanted to put into my post on the 24th.

Write it down.

Hang it up.

Live by it.

I know I should.

Another Day

Every day, it gets harder and harder for me to sit through classes. I don't know where my motivation is.

Hey, Motivation!

If you are reading this, can you get your pretty self over here?

NOW?

Ahem.

Anyway, today was the usual Monday. Classes straight until 4:25. Fun fun. In Bio Lab, we looked at bacterias. Beautiful. I am going to an advisor on Wednesday so they can give me my verdict. I think I will end up here for longer than I want to be. I don't think I will be graduating at the end of next year. It has all been wishful thinking. Don't get me wrong, I WANT to finish school, and I WILL, but there is so much that I want to find out about myself that I can not do in this enviroment. I need Devora night. Thank G-d tomorrow is Tuesday.

My phone fell into water today. It doesn't make calls and it shuts off. GREAT. There's a Verizon place near here that is supposedly open 24 hours. Maybe Erica will come with me.

My finger hurts. I smashed it (dramatic, right?) on a subway bar on Friday while I was slinging my bag over my shoulder, and over the past few days it has started hurting more. It's purple at the knuckle and I have a splint on it so I can't bend it. Sigh...

Okay, enough complaining.

Have a good night.

WHY?

WHY IS IT SO EASY TO PROCRASTINATE???

In other news, I saw my brother today. I went to my cousin's house with bagels and cream cheese and we watched some football. The Jets lost. After that, my brother drove me back to the dorm and I am supposed to be looking up articles for an education assignment. Why is it so hard to do the work and so easy to procrastinate about it? I am meeting Deborah at J2 in about an hour. She called while I was in the computer lab (which is where I am now) and I was being quiet on the phone, so she thought I wasn't happy about meeting her. I think between seeing her and my brother, my day hasn't been that bad.

OTHER THAN MY LACK OF ACADEMICNESS.

I'll probably feel better later. Eh.

We didn't end up doing anything last night. We all dressed up and we were going to go to Walgreen's so Aviva could print out the pictures that we took of her on my camera. Then Erica and Aviva's friend came to our room to visit. They were talking for a long time, then I decided that since it was 1:30am, I didn't really feel like going anywhere, so I took a shower and went into bed. I was not in the mood to do anything. I really need a life. Maybe I just need time away from it all.

Worried?

Sorry it's been so long! I hate not blogging for a while!

I know my last post was kind of miserable, but don't worry. I don't let it get me down too much. Shabbos was really nice. I was at Erica's (and my) friend Aviva's house. It was so relaxing. My brother is at my cousin's house. I was so excited when I heard he was coming in! I hope to get to hang out with him later. Right now he and my cousin are watching TV, so I doubt they will come out into civilization in the near future. Aviva, Erica and I are going to head back into the city soon. Aviva wants to play dress-up. Sigh...girls. Hehe.

The rest of the week was pretty okay. On Wednesday we had an amazing class. It was our language and literacy class for education. It's a class where we learn about teaching kids to read and write using children's books. For the past few weeks, the teacher has read us very meaningful books. On Wednesday, he read us one called "The Jester Has Lost His Jingle" by David Saltzman. In short, it's a book about how a jester tried to find out why everyone in the land had lost their senses of humor. He ended up going into a hospital and making a little girl with a tumor laugh, and it caught on. The point of the book was to teach that laughter is inside of all of us. Then there was an afterword by the author about how he was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease and started crying. Then his jester (that he created by doodling in class one day) came to him and asked him why he wasn't laughing. He realized that he shouldn't be sad, he should be enjoying life. He wrote a beautiful entry in his journal which I will post when I have it in front of me.

Then on the back flap of the book, there was an "About the Author" written by Maurice Sendak. He wrote about the schools David Saltzman went to and all the things that he did. It ended by telling us that David died 11 days before his 23rd birthday. Everyone in the class was stunned. After that discussion, our teacher told us about a little girl in PS 41, where he was principal, who was beaten to death by her father. He told us the whole story. I don't want to write it because it is really disturbing. You can do your research by googling Lisa Steinberg. It was an extremely disturbing story. The point was that we have to be aware of what goes on in the classroom. At some point in the year, we have to attend a child abuse detection seminar. This world is insane.

IN OTHER NEWS...well, there isn't much. Just wanted to give a quick update for those of you who were getting worried.

SHAVUA TOV!

Stay in school?

I don't like school. I thought I would be able to be academic this semester. I am not off to a good start. I am supposed to be taking 7 courses every semester and I am only taking 6 as of now. I can't rejoin my literature class because I would have to catch up on everything they have done in the past 2 weeks, and I know that I won't do that. Erica is doing it, but I can't. My father is going to be really upset with me. I know that I am digging a deep hole for myself, but I can't handle so much work. I really can't.

It's three weeks into the semester and I'm already going crazy. I am being so negative about school and I don't want to be. I love my roomates and I hope they know that, even when I don't sleep in the dorm, which has been almost every night.

I really want to be done with school in 2 years. I don't want to stay here for longer than I have to. My parents are paying so much for me to be here and I feel like I am wasting their money. I want them to be proud of me. I don't know if screwing myself over makes them feel proud. I miss them so much and I wish I could know that they support me on the decisions I have been making. But, how can I expect their support if I don't have my own?

I really miss Morah Miriam. She e-mails me from Israel and when I read them, it makes me miss her more. I missed a call from her a few days ago, but I hope that she calls again soon. I am so happy that we worked together and bonded in the summer. I really wish I was there with her. WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE TO BE SO FAR AWAY?!? Call me selfish, but I really wish they were here. MIRIAM! COME BACK!

I hope that tonight will cheer me up. Jennifer Weiner (chick book author and DJ's idol) is coming to a bookstore in the city for a reading and book signing. Afterwards, DJ is making a party at Estihana. I want to get my mind off all of this school stuff so I can really enjoy myself.

Am I making a big deal out of nothing? And if it is nothing, then why is it bothering me so much?

What a Weekend

I ended up spending Shabbos in Queens. All of my original plans were getting too confusing, so I went to my cousin's house. It was really nice. On Saturday night, Dovid came over and hung out with us. I was so happy that him and my cousin got along so well. I was shepping! We got food from the Pizza Professor. We had cinnamon and sugar stix for dessert and Dovid and I kept splitting the last one until there was only a crumb left. It was really funny.

On Sunday, I went to the advisor training at YU. A lot of it was pretty repetitive, but I did learn something over and over. Never ever ever ever ever ever promise confidentiality to an NCSYer. That could come in handy. One of the advisors at the training was one that I met at the NY NCSY Shabbaton that I did in February and who I saw at LTS told me to come to their Shabbaton this weekend. I don't really want to go since the regional director doesn't really know me and I don't think that the guy in charge of staff likes me either. I don't know why.

Last night, my "other half" from LA (we met each other on LTS. She's me in 10 years) IMed me and invited me to a West Coast NCSY Shabbaton in LA in November. How cool would that be? I don't think I can do it because I might be doing UYO that weekend. We'll see.

After I finish up here in this wonderful computer lab, I am going over to the other cafeteria to say hi to my girls who work there. We're tight. Then I am heading over to Devora's office for a little bit.

Hope everyone had a good day!

Sorry

I'm sorry, but I have to do the annoying word verification thing. I am so sick of spam comments! If it gets too annoying, let me know.

TGIF

I did not go to sleep until 3am. I am not too sure why. I woke up at 6:15 and took a train to Brooklyn for the bris. The baby's name is Yaakov Yitzchak. Elizabeth and I went downstairs to where my friend was with the baby and she let me hold him. He is so tiny and SO sweet! After the bris, Elizabeth and I went to Dunkin Donuts. It was really nice. After that, we went our seperate ways. She might come to the city later, but she's not sure. She's going back to England on Sunday, but she's coming back in November for a few days.

At the time of the publishing of this post, my Shabbos plans are not definite. DJ called me and told me that it's supposed to rain all day and night so walking 50 blocks might not be too great. She wanted to find a place in the Upper East Side for us to stay. I don't know what is going to happen. I'll have to keep stalking her until she tells me what is going on. If she doesn't call me soon, I am going to her office.

I spoke to my mother today. She is in Israel for another week and a half. She had called me when I was on the train back from Brooklyn. I called her back when I got back into my room. I feel like every time I talk to her, I am either in a bad mood, really tired, or both. My sister answered the phone and I talked to her for a minute or two. My sister offered the phone to my older nephew, but he didn't want to talk to me on the phone. I know he's really young and everything, but I was hurt. I wish they were closer. I miss them so much and they don't even know who I am. Then my mother got on the phone and I was crying already, so there was never a point in the conversation when my voice wasn't shaky. I really wish I was there.

Well, to end this on a happier note...Have a good Shabbos!

My Latest Plan

So, lately, I have been really stressed out about school and making up credits that I am missing. The other day, Erica mentioned summer school here. I thought about it (for a whole couple of seconds) and realized that it would be great! Here's why:

1. It's not so expensive (so I've heard)

2. I could take classes to get credits and lighten my load so I could possibly graduate when I am supposed to.

3. I wouldn't have to go through the office getting outside summer courses approved.

4. It's only for a month, which means that I will probably get back to Boston in time for camp!

5. DEVORA SAID I COULD LIVE WITH HER! The classes are in YU and I really don't want to live in the city (in Schottenstein, which is not that great in itself) and have to catch a shuttle.

6. I could get a part-time job. I think.

The more I think about it, the better it sounds. We'll see.

That's my plan. I hope G-d isn't laughing too hard.

The last day of the school week!

TGIT! Well, maybe not. Thursdays drag on and on. After our extremely long and complicated Foundations of Arithmetic class, we now have Elementary Arabic. That's right. We are taking Arabic. We dropped Lit and that was the only class that fit into our schedule. Maybe I'll learn some choice words that I can use when I go visit the Holy Land. Mwahaha.

After school, my roomates and I went on a journey down 34th Street. Rebecca (my second roomie) needed to find a dress design that she liked because she is getting a dress made. So, we started our trip in Macy's. We got an idea of what kind of dress she wants, then we left. After that, we went into Famous Footwear so I could replace my over-worn clogs, but they didn't have them. Then, we went to K-Mart which is where we needed to go in the first place. We got our basic essentials, then we left.

As I was leaving, I noticed that I had a missed call from Devora's office. SHE WAS WAS STILL AT WORK! It was 8:45pm. She said she was leaving at 9. I told her I was coming to sleep over. When we got back to the dorm, I signed up for the 11pm shuttle and slept at Devora's. On the shuttle, I told a girl I know that I was taking Arabic, and she told me that she heard it was a bad class. Oh, well.

Tonight is sheva brachos for my friend who got married on Sunday. It is going to be in a restaurant. I am so excited! I can't wait to see her! This time, I will remember my camera. I forgot it when I went to the wedding. I was NOT too happy about that.

Tomorrow morning, I am going to my friend's baby's bris! I can't believe it! She called me before class to give me directions to the shul that it is in. She sounds great, thank G-d. My friend, Elizabeth, came in from England for the wedding and she is in charge of tonight's sheva brachos (she and the kallah's brother). I am hoping that she will come back to my dorm with me and sleep over so she can go to the bris with me tomorrow. She is also close with the new mommy. I told the new mommy friend that I always cry when I go to a bris, so she said that I can cry with her. I'm taking her up on that.

That's the story for now. I hope everyone has a great day!

Update

Okay, here it is in brief...

-The wedding was BEAUTIFUL! I had a great time.

-School/getting all my credits is really bugging me out.

-I went to the UYO graduation and was inspired. I can't wait to go.

-Slept at Devora's last night. Sleeping there again tomorrow night.

The rest of my week is pretty full. Tonight is Devora and Hinda night. Tomorrow I am hanging out with Dena, Thursday night is sheva brachos and I am staying in for the weekend. Devora and Chaia are hopefully sleeping here and even though I told myself I wouldn't stay in again...well...I lied. It should be fun. We are going to make food (we, meaning mostly Devora) and eat in the dorm on Shabbos day. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH DJ!

Anyway, time to get ready for class. Whoopdeedoo.

Going home

The Shabbaton that was supposed to happen this weekend got cancelled last night, so I am going home for the weekend. My mother is going to Israel next week, so it would be nice if I went home. My parents don't know I am coming. My brother is going to get me from the bus tonight.

I went to Devora's with Erica last night and we watched The Wedding Date. Such an unpredictable movie. Who would have thought that everything would be okay in the end? The mysteries of life...

I came to the school building to get dinner before I left. The door to the CAF was locked, so I decided to use the computers instead. Stern redeems themselves with the computers. I really like them.

Have a good night, everyone!

I'm BAAAAAAAACK

Aliza and I got to the airport and our plane was having "issues" so we were delayed for about 30 minutes. We thought that it was a sign that we were supposed to move to Detroit. It was crazy. We landed at around 11:45pm and my wonderful cousin brought me back to the city. I am going to get up early in the morning and do my Hebrew homework. We have to look at a booklet of pictures from the days of the first settlers of Israel and write what we see in the picture and what we learn from it. How fun does that sound?

It has been a crazily exhausting past few days. I need sleep. More soon...

It's nice to be back...even if it means being back in NY.

Coming back

The car is in extreme disrepair. The plan as of now is that Abbey's mom is probably going to come to Detroit and U-haul the van back to New York to the mechanic that they have there. Aliza and I have to go back. Today was a bad day for Aliza to miss in school and tomorrow would be worse than today for me. Abbey is going to stay here and Aliza and I are flying back tonight.

The Positive Side:

The wedding made all this worth it. Well, for me anyway.

Being stuck here allowed me to see Shoshana and her husband last night! They stopped by the house so I could give them their presents in person.

Being here will allow me to be at the Sheva Brachos which is in the house we are staying in tonight.

The flight that we hope to get onto departs at around 9pm.

What an exhausting few days. Whoa...

Thanks to everyone who kept checking up on me!

I WENT TO DETROIT!!!!!!

I WENT TO DETROIT! When my friends arrived in Detroit, the girl who is getting married called me and asked me why I didn't come. When the girls told her I wasn't coming, she thought they were kidding. I told her that I didn't want to go for Shabbos, but if there is a ride on Saturday night, I wouldn't hesitate. I made sure that she knew how much I wanted to be there.

About a half hour after the phone call, my friend Aliza called me. I told her about how much I wanted to go and how bad I felt about the mess on Thursday night. So she said, "Would you like to go with me and Abbey on Satuday night?" I started freaking out!

SO, on Saturday night (after one of the best Shabbosim I've ever had) I took a train to the city to pack, then I went to Brooklyn to Abbey's house, then we drove to Far Rockaway to get Aliza. We went to Dunkin Donuts before we got onto the road at 2am.

We were five miles away from where we needed to be when the car started shaking and smoke started coming from the hood. Aliza pulled the car onto the shoulder and we all got out. We had no idea what to do. Suddenly, a car pulled to the side of the ramp that we were next to. A REALLY REALLY nice couple from the area stopped to help us. The husband came out to look at our car and told us that the car is overheated and needs more coolant. He didn't want to leave us on the highway, so we got into his car and went to his house. We got coolant then went back to the car. He tried putting it in but it came right out. Then he told us that he would take the car to his son-in-law to see if he could patch it up. He drove the broken car and we went with his wife. To make a long story short, nothing could be done with the car, so they drove us to our host's house. We went to the wedding, and this morning we had the car towed to Firestone where they told us that they can't help us. Great. Tomorrow morning we are going to a mechanic to see if he could help us. I am missing class tomorrow. Oh, well.

WISH US LUCK!

Regret is SO annoying

So...

I was making NCSY phone calls yesterday when I got a call from my friend that she found us a ride to Detroit that is leaving at 5:45am (Friday morning). I was having severe conscious pulling moments not knowing what to do. On one hand, I wanted to go to this wedding. On the other hand, I didn't want to go for Shabbos. Keep in mind that this phone call happened at 7pm, so it didn't leave me too much time to think about it. I called DJ crying about how I didn't want to leave her for Shabbos, and she calmed me down.

I went back to my dorm at around 8:15pm. I started packing. I honestly can not repeat the whole story because I don't remember every detail, but I'll say this: I was supposed to meet my friend from Far Rockaway at YU, then my friend from NJ was going to pick us up and bring us to her house. Our ride was leaving from Teaneck and she was going to drive us there. I took the 11pm shuttle to YU. On the way, I found out that my friend from Far Rockaway didn't take the A all the way to YU. She was only allowed to take the railroad to Penn Station. My friend from NJ said she couldn't go into the city to pick her up. Meanwhile, I got to YU and was going to go to Penn Station on the train, pick my Far Rockaway friend up, then go back to YU with her. Crazy, I know.

There was a whole lot of confusion. In the end, I was sitting outside the A not knowing what to do. I called Amy while I was freaking out and I went to her apartment. I stayed there for a while and made her take my phone calls from my friends who were calling a LOT. Then I went to Adina's. She wasn't home, but her roomate let me in. Ends up that Erica met my Far Rockaway friend in Penn Station. Erica told me that she decided to go to the wedding. I told her to take the A to Adina's, and the NJ friend could pick them up from there. I was happy Erica was going because Far Rockaway was upset that she had told the person giving us a ride that there would be three girls. I think she was happy when Erica said she would go. Everything is cool between all of us.

END RESULT: Erica and Far Rockaway came to the Heights at around 2am. They took a local shuttle to YU where NJ friend picked them up. That's the last I heard.

NOW: I am at Adina's apartment. She left to work and I am going to go into the city soon. I have all my Shabbos stuff with me, but I need to bring some stuff back that I don't need. I know I will regret not going to the wedding. I was really looking forward to going. Right now, I don't really know what is going on in my head. I am sure that my friend getting married will be upset that I didn't go. I really thought I would. If the ride was on Saturday night, I would not have hesitated. Oy.

Have a good Shabbos!

Blah

I can't think of a name for this post.

My Developmental Psychology class teacher let us out a half hour early. Woohoo!

Last night, I went to the engagement party. I went to Queens on the train then someone gave me a ride to the party. It was really nice. I saw my friend Julie, who I didn't expect to see, so that was really nice. After that, we went to THE Dunkin Donuts where everyone goes. My friend who was driving me was being a bit irritating since she didn't seem to want to be there, but she could have said no. My friend Adi came to say hi. It was SO NICE TO SEE HER! We are trying to figure out how we are getting to Detroit this weekend. If we don't have it figured out by tonight...oy. I HAVE to go, so it's not a question really. I called my cousin who was in the area and he came to say hi. My friend Aliza came by and she was so surprised to see me! *Sigh*...I love my friends.

My friend who was driving me graced me with the news that she wasn't driving me back to the city. Imagine this. It's 12:30 am. Your phone is dead. Do you want to be on a subway in the city by yourself? True, I had a pair of heels in my bag that I could have used if I had to, but come on! Thank G-d, I have a cousin that really cares and he drove me back. *sigh*...I love my family.

Tonight, another advisor and I have to call a list of a lot of 10th graders. There is going to be a Shabbaton in Upstate NY next weekend. Should be fun. It's SO last minute. Welcome to NCSY.

I am so excited to see Devora tonight. I'll probably sleep over there then come back to the city tomorrow. We'll see.

I hope everyone is having a great day. You all should just know that I am making a pretty good effort to update my blog. It's hard, but I am willing to do it for my loyal readers!

No joke again. I'm sorry! I will work on a list soon...