A Midspring (All) Night's Clean (Up)

Yes, I am pulling an all nighter. Right now I am sitting on my room floor trying to clean and pack. I started out by cleaning out the stuff from under my bed. I found some treasures under there. I just emptied my closet. I am surrounded by stuff. Lots of stuff. I know I'll have time next week so I am not going crazy.

I had a good day today. I was up late working on a video that I am making for the Shabbaton next week, so I slept in. DAC called me to remind me to work on a list of songs for the band. I got up and worked on the video for a while longer. Then Miriam made me get up. We went to get our eyebrows done (hey, it's how we bond) and H&M where I got a pretty skirt. Thanks, Abba! After that, I went back to the dorm and relaxed some more. Then Erica called me to offer to get me some dinner. Thanks, Princess! Then my friend from my ed psych class called me and said we should study for an hour to get it over with. She came down and we ADDed a lot, but we got some studying done. Then Miriam and I went to the library for a while and I studied a little bit more. Don't worry, I didn't over-exert myself. I am going to miss having so many people around to hang with.

Here's what is the prominent issue going on right now...

As much as I love going home, I am not looking forward to this weekend. My nephews are leaving the US on Tuesday. That means that I will have to say goodbye to them on Sunday. (PS I am crying as I type this, just so you realize what I am going through.) I am going to be a mess when I get back to NY. I would come home on Monday, but I don't want to be home when they actually leave. I can't help but feel hurt and upset that they live so far away. I love them insanely and I just want to be able to see them all the time, not once or twice a year. (Oh, wow, here come a lot of tears.) I really can't take it. On top of that, they really love me. I don't want them to forget who I am. I am going to Israel in January, but I have a feeling that I will have to let them get used to me all over again. They will grow up so fast and I won't be there to see it. I really can't take this. I feel hostility towards certain people about this, even though they aren't going to do anything about it. I can't be home after they leave because I can't stand to see my parents upset. This is why I don't want to move to Israel until my family does. Besides that, I am not working so hard in school just so I can ship out of the country as soon as I graduate. I can't do it to them. I don't know how I am going to handle this.

I have to get back to packing because I still have to review my notes for my final in 4 hours.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. You all now know how mine will be.