I DID IT!

I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!

That's right...I pulled it off. I was up until 3am writing my Arthur paper for education class. Then I got up at about 8:30 and worked on my speech. I practiced and I was pretty confident for a last minute speech-maker.

I went to education class and we were still discussing the portrayal of teachers in the media. We watched some of Dangerous Minds and Music of the Heart. I was reading over my speech outline during the movies. Over and over and over. Then it was 3:00. Ten minutes until speech class. I did not get a coffee beforehand like I usually do. The teacher was not feeling well, so she didn't speak too much. Only two girls were speaking. Yes, one of them was me! The other girl wanted me to speak first. I was ready. I got up there and started. There were points where I got nervous and forgot what came next. There was a point where I was quiet for what seemed like hours. Yes, I WAS QUIET. I finished the speech and sat down. My heart was beating so fast and I felt my face burning, but, in a way, I felt much better.

Then the teacher motioned for me to get back up there to answer questions. I surprised myself by answering the girls as if I knew what I was talking about. I think I did. That scared me. Ha! It feels good to know what you're talking about. I don't get that feeling too often. Then I sat down. One girl asked me a question that had to do with my experience tutoring the boy that I spoke about in my speech. Part of my answer was, "Seeing the way the Hebrew studies teacher treated him, was a motivation for me to be a teacher and not be like that." The teacher loved that. She said she would have loved to hear that in the speech since it shows that I am passionate about the topic. I told her that it was supposed to be in the speech but it flew away very fast. Yes, that's how I said it, and I added in hand motions, too! I had to hand in an outline before the speech and the line about motivation was in there, so she KNEW it was supposed to be in the speech.

After the next speaker who spoke about the importance of wearing sunscreen, the teacher asked everyone what worked with her speech. This is what she does after every speech. Then girls raise their hands and praise the speaker and how she spoke. Then she asks what the speaker can work on etc. When she asked about me, I said I could work on a lot. The teacher asked me why I looked so uncomfortable when I sat down. I told her that I felt embarrassed about forgetting parts of the speech and the discomfort made me nervous etc. I told her (like I did many times) that once I get up there, I get nervous. I told her that I have no problem speaking, but getting up in front of everyone makes me nervous.

When everyone was done commenting, she asked if anyone who had spoken already would like a second chance. I raised my hand and she motioned me to the front of the room. I said, "Oh, you're serious?" So, I got up there and started again. I started well, then got stuck again. So I said, "this is where I get stuck." I tried again, then decided that it wasn't helping, so I sat back down. The teacher liked how I started off a lot more confidently and enthusiastically. I am so glad that it's over. I think I have a pretty good chance of getting above a C this time. Even though I didn't WORK on it as much as I would have liked, I did know what I was talking about. Whoever wants to know what I spoke about can let me know and I'll send you a copy of the outline. It was a pretty good speech if I do say so myself.

After class, one of the girls in the class came over to me and told me that it was a great speech. She said that she thinks I am too hard on myself. That made me feel really good about the speech. She is such a sweet girl. No, not just because she complimented me. Yes, I consider it a compliment because it meant that I did well.

Now, I have no imminent deadlines. It's a great feeling. I am going to celebrate by decorating my room even more! HA! Stay tuned for more updates...